stories through pictures (and words)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I'll be OK, just not today





Why has my life become one long rainy day?




Since you left, I've struggled to find a good balance between work and thinking of you. You seem to be consuming my every thought. My being is just tired.

Why are you never there when I need you most? I've become someone that I don't know. I step outside of myself and wonder why anyone would want to be around me.

I smile so people won't figure me out. It's hard sometimes but I would rather fake happiness than having someone asking how I am and unraveling on the spot.

I'm struggling with myself. Each day I find it hard to continue with this facade.

I always ask myself "why me?"
I've chosen this but I just can't seem to get away from long distance relationships.
Yes, this one is a bit different...but long distance nonetheless.

I miss you and I don't know how to deal. Somedays I am perfectly fine but most days I am not.

I'm so lonely even when I am with people. Even when I am talking to you.
I'm sick of feeling so blue. Every. single. day.
When will it end?


I'm praying that I can keep my sanity and be able to smile from inside again.

When will that be?

Counting the days seems to be useless and puts me in a much deeper place. So many days. So many.

Will anyone even notice?

I'm drowning in an pool  ocean of dark nothing. It's hard to breathe.

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